In a time where the support of friends is a crucial part of making it through the baby steps of the days and weeks to follow grief, I learned that bullying still exists beyond the halls of school. Bullying is not something confined to a certain place at a certain age. The people you don’t expect to be bullied from, can surprise you, and end up being the “bigger bullies” then the “mean” kids, or the strangers we expect it from based off of judgments we might have been too quick to make.

I wouldn’t say I was bullied in the school yard, or in the halls of high school. I was picked on relentlessly in elementary school, but as kids got older, things got surprisingly better. I was not one to succumb to peer-pressure. Too set in my own stubbornness to try smoking, or drinking; to try this, or that; to do this or that; just because my friends, or someone else deemed it was “cool” or that “everyone” was doing it. Peer-pressure has never held power over me, or much significance in my life. I simply could not put in the effort to do something I didn’t want to do just to gain “coolness”. Then once high school was over with, and college began, everyone was too caught up in doing their own things, to try to bully anyone into doing something they didn’t find interest in. Scare tactic and peer-pressure were something of the past. Or so I thought.

At 22 years old, I certainly would not have thought that bullying would find me. Certainly wouldn’t have guessed the bully(ies) would be “friend(s)”. It comes as a sort of surprise and slap in the face when this idea is reality. Friends certainly are not supposed to be the people one feels bullied by. Friends are loving and supporting. One could assume that a friend that is a bully is not a friend. But how do you deal with it? Do you distance yourself from those people, or do confront them and hope to move forward in the friendship(s)? It is a tough decision, especially when you are in a workplace with these people, and have to be in the company of them quite often.

I’m not sure there is a way to “get through” to bullies. They will continue to try to use force, and demeaning ways of bringing your self esteem and self worth down in order to fulfill their own selfish desires. I deal with it by crying, find the support I need in true friends, and family. Accepting that these friends aren’t people to count on, or to confide in, and instead are persons you chit-chat with to pass the time. Eventually one can hope that they grow up, and handle manners differently. Until then, I just politely smile and walk away.

-Anonymous