I've been getting bullied ever since I was in the 4th grade. Now I'm a junior in High School and it still happens to me. Bully's bully people because they're insecure about themselves and want to make people like you and me feel just like them so they can feel whole. It all started with "You're ugly, you're weird, nobody likes you." That kind of mean stuff, but they'd only do it to me because I was shy and quiet, and they knew that I would never say anything. They knew it bothered me so that made them feel like they should torture me even more. In middle school it had gotten alot worse. I hung around with 4 girls and I was always really close to one of them, and her name was Nicole. The three other girls would leave us out all the time. One of them was the leader of the group, and her name was Amy. She'd always tell us what to do, how I should act, who to be friends with, make me feel bad about myself, and talk behind my back all the time. Nicole and the two other girls never really listened to her, but  it would always work on me because back then I was afraid and weak. I'd never say what was really on my mind and I'd always let this girl take advantage of me because of that. As time passed it was finally 8th grade and one of the girls realized that Amy was a horrible friend and she ended things with the group. Amy told the three of us that we weren't allowed to talk to her because she said so, and we listened because we just didn't have the guts to say no to her.

         It was finally my first year of high school, I was still friends with this group, except Nicole moved away, but her and I were still good friends. Nicole also realized Amy didn't deserve to be friends with her, so she ended her friendship with her too. The first couple days of school were okay, I had a crush on this senior that was involved in yearbook club. He would go around the school and take pictures of everything and everyone for the yearbook. I kept quiet about it because I knew Amy and the other girl would say something to him or someone else. The weekend finally came and it was Friday night. Amy and I went to the welcome back dance that was being held in the cafeteria because it looked fun. She met a boy there that was taking pictures of students and teachers, and she really liked him. It turns out, this boy was my crush's best friend and they were both involved in yearbook club. Next thing you know, Amy and him went out. I thought "Hey, maybe this can give me the courage to talk to that guy." So I told Amy that I liked his best friend. I told her not to say anything yet, but she went and told her boyfriend and they both told the boy about me, but they told him really embarrassing things about me. I don't know what they said and its better for me not to know what they said to him. Next thing I knew the boy would point at me with his friends and make fun of me in the hallways. I felt so ashamed of myself. I thought that I just wasn't worth any guys time.

       Freshman year was awful, I was still friends with Amy and still couldn't stand up for myself or say anything to her or anyone that would bully me. Sophomore year had come, and I was the only one that was still friends with Amy. The other girl matured and made better friends, I'm still happy for her for making better friends and getting away from Amy. Things were still just as bad, I was like her puppet. I'd always listen to her because I felt like I had to. I lost alot of my other friends because of her, she'd tell me "Oh you can't be friends with them, and if you don't stop being friends with them I'm gonna be mad at you." I was so upset with myself. I still can't believe I listened to her. Things had gotten really bad, and Amy had been ruining my life. She honestly could never let me be myself. I had to do everything she wanted me to do, because she said so. After Christmas, I met this boy named Nick that was a couple months older than me, and he lived a couple of towns over from mine. He was the sweetest, funniest, most nicest person I've ever met. For once, I felt like I had a real friend. Nobody had ever been this nice to me before. Amy had gotten really jealous and mad that I'd been talking to him more than her. One night I said, "I'm so excited, I think he's gonna ask me out!" and she said, "No he won't Leslie." She didn't want me to happy, once again. She even tried stealing him away from me just so I could hate him and not want to talk to him again. Nick made me believe in myself, he changed my life and for once in a really long time I was happy. Days passed, and Nick and I had been hanging out alot and we became best friends. Amy wouldn't talk to me, she was angry, and for once I didn't care. I had every right to be happy, and she wanted me to feel like what I was doing was wrong, but it wasn't.

   One day I was at the mall with Nick, we were going to go see a movie. Suddenly I got a text from Amy that said. "I hope you know that I'm really mad at you. You keep ignoring me and acting like this Nick kid is your new best friend. You don't even know him. You've changed Leslie. Don't even bother talking to me at school Monday." I began to cry, I had a huge pit in my stomach but I was so incredibly angry and I knew exactly what I had to do. It was time for me to finally stand up for myself. I'd been her puppet for too long, I needed to take a stand and say what I wanted to say. I told her, "You are the worst friend I've ever had, you were NEVER my best friend, I can't believe I let you take advantage of me for all these years, and yes I have changed. I've grown up and I'm so done with you and your games. I will definitely not be talking to you not only Monday, I won't speak to you ever again. I want nothing to do with you. You've been hurting me for too long."

    That was the smartest decision I've ever made. I felt so much better that I didn't have someone like her on my back. I felt like I was free, I felt so much better about myself. I know and I still know I am a much better person than that. Amy was a bully. She did really nasty things to make people upset because she hated herself and thats exactly why she wanted me to hate myself. She wanted me to feel as bad as she did.

If you're reading this, don't EVER be friends with anyone thats going to treat you like you aren't worth anything. Nobody should ever hate themselves because everyone is unique, beautiful, and perfect in their own way. People like that just aren't worth your time. All you need to do is believe, stay positive, and look forward. Never be afraid to say no too. I hope this helps somebody, because this girl had been bullying me for too long and I didn't realize it til years later.

 

-Leslie Griffith