Thursday, May 17, 2012

Being true to yourself is extremely important all throughout life, although sometimes it may be the harder thing to do. I am a book worm, band geek, rule follower, and good student. I have always been the quiet, shy girl who likes to sit down with a book in a quiet space and read straight through until its last word. I have always had friends, but only a very close couple of them. You know how in every group of friends there is that one person that sticks out as being out of place? That was me. They all had a similar personality to me, but were outspoken. That is what made the difference in my high school experience compared to theirs. 

Unfortunately, it seems that being the shy one I was one of the common targets for bullying in school, even with some of my friends. The first incident I can remember which had to be elementary school took place on the school bus. One day coming home I had to sit with an older student who decided to boss me around telling me which direction I was allowed to look in. My bus driver did absolutely nothing, but thankfully there was another older student near by that stood up for me because I was too scared to do it myself. I did not see or talk to that student much throughout the remainder of my time in school but to this day I am still thankful for her kind, mature gesture. 

In most Hollywood instances there is that big mean boy picking on a younger boy that exemplifies bullying. Within these movies and television shows they get swirlies and shoved into lockers or trash bins. None of my bullying experiences were anything physical which I am thankful for, but that does not mean that the verbal and even silent abuse I experienced hurt me any less. I did have that one person that always targeted me though, and I will never forget the cruel words, mean faces, and rude gestures. I will also never forget when she hugged me, crying at challenge day. I am not sure if it was a subtle apology or if she thought I was someone else, but it doesn’t matter why, just that it happened. Be the bigger person, always. One simple kind gesture can make a lasting impression. 

Although the bullying started long before junior high school, that is when it really impacted my life. It came to a point where my best friend turned her back on me with what she thought was a funny joke. Bullying is NEVER a joke. A letter full of swearing and threats was given to me in the end telling ME to apologize for making it a big deal. I think being a shy person, the bully thinks you won’t defend yourself or ask for help. As the victim, you need to do just that, and in that moment I did. This prank ended our friendship and ruined my trust in her, but it is okay. Sometimes these things happen, and in that you will find your true friends that will be by your side through it all. 

I have always struggled with my appearance. Back to school clothes shopping began with excitement and ended in tears as I stood in the dressing room so furious with my body. Comments in school never helped, especially when my junior high school crush called me “fat ass” as we were walking up a stair well. I received insults online as I got older, introducing the new idea of cyber-bullying. Even my friends parents telling me I had gained weight. Thankfully, I found my place in a caring group of friends that supported me and accepted me for who I was, complimenting me instead of firing off insults. As high school goes on there was drama here and there but they never bullied me, or anyone else, and were always there for each other. Find those people, and separate yourself as much as you can from those with negative comments. 
I have learned to love my body for what it is, accept my curves, and to be happy with who I am. There are still moments of frustration when a certain outfit doesn’t look right, but it is a lot better than it used to be. Confidence is evident to those around you. I had glasses that just accentuated my classification as a geek in school, but you can get contacts or find a cute new frame. We all have to learn what looks good as far as clothes, and how to do our hair just right, growing into ourselves is just a part of growing up. Each one of you is beautiful, and if you believe that yourself, the people around you will too. 

In the end of all this, I have good news for all of you. Things get better, people mature, and the bullying lessens. You will graduate from high school, you have the power to choose what school you feel comfortable at, who you will be friends with, and leave everything you want to in the past. Doing well in school pays off, as I was accepted to all six of the colleges I applied to my senior year. I also received thousands of dollars in scholarships, and was fully prepared for what my college academics threw my way. Also upon graduating, I have received amazing jobs and an incredible internship due to a full resume and fantastic references. Being respectful in school gains you respect in return from your teachers. Peers may see this mutual respect as a “teacher’s pet” or “goody two shoes” but I promise you it is not a bad thing, and will help you so much in the future.

Bullying is never okay, never acceptable, never the cool thing to do. Don’t ever let someone make you feel like you don’t fit in or that you are less than them. Nobody fits in with everyone, and you will find the right people. There are so many people in this world, so many people that love and care for you. Don’t let a few people make you forget just how important, beautiful, and valuable you really are to this world. You ARE something more.



-B.E. Sylvia

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